I don't deserve my precious phone. It prevents me to spend "family" time.
I don't deserve my video games. They distract me from other things I need to do.
I don't deserve the latest consoles. They will end up like my old consoles.
I don't deserve money. I end up buying things I don't mess with anymore or useless crap.
I don't deserve...family. They always help me,to fail in life.
I don't deserve rewards. In time, I will do something bad anyway.
I don't deserve friends. My friends barely talk to me.
I don't deserve love. Whats the point when someone you love will end up breaking your heart and soul?
Life is like the mess in a room,you find pictures and things you had when you were little,memories of your past,successful, happy life that you throw away without giving a damn. Well, that's how I see my life. Back then,I was happy,full of humour, had many words about discoveries of the internet, very creative scribbles of art,and with not a care in the world.....Now, all I see,is a wasted opportunity of what I could've been and never was. I should've listened what my elders told me. There are others who say that you should "never give up", "there are those who love you"and " ignore the past and "live a great future"......To give up means to quit and realize what's really going on in your life. You know that your life is miserable but,you ignore it like its nothing. Friends and family who "love" you?What if someone,who was once your "best friend", goes to someone you hate with your guts and tells them "you are the greatest friend I've ever met", the same thing you were told when you first met your " best"friend?Was there a time when you were scolded,and your father was the one to punish you. You looked to your mother and whispered, "help me",but looked in the other direction and walked away?This happened to me.....too many times. What if its not the past that's screwed up but the present? Does that mean the planned future will cease to exist?.......There is a reason why your parents make you do chores,its to let you know what you need to when you go though the gates of life. It was my mistake to IGNORE them. Wasted words to deaf ears. I guess I'll just leave this world forever. Wait a minute, you can't make a rainbow without a little rain. I can clean up my "mess" and my life won't be so bad anymore. I'll do whatever my parents say and never talk back. I can some new friends and continue to pursue my dreams......But whats the point to cleaning up a mess...........when it just ends up getting dirty again?